He is Proud of Me.

[from Pinterest.]

I apparently have a hard time understanding what God really thinks of me. I never knew it was an issue. I always thought I was one of those secure people. Sure, I have those days that I feel fat or whatever, but I have never questioned God's love for me or his goodness. Secure and confident are words that I hear often during times of encouragement. 

Well, I guess that both my friends and I didn't realize that I have a dang hard time knowing that God is proud of me.

Today, some of my best friend's came back from India. As I was driving to the airport to welcome them home I started singing some worship which turned into me kind of sing-praying to God which then took a turn for the weird when I started basically prophetically singing what God was speaking over myself. Have you ever done that? Like spoke out loud for God? Where your words are like being hijacked right from your brain? No, this is not like tongues. Its like when you write down the things that God is saying in your journal, only you are just saying them out loud as they come and your basically weeping the whole time. Well, that is what happened to me. It was crazy. It was intense. It was the best moment I have had with Jesus in a while and I welcomed it with open arms.

So, he said a lot of stuff which was all wonderful, but it came down to two main things: He is proud of me and he dearly loves me.

When I mess up or feel less than mediocre I tend to get in this funk of a mindset that there is no way that I am worth anything. I just feel like such a stinking failure. I watched a segment on the Today show this morning about getting a job and all I could think was that no one would ever want to hire me. 

The wonderful thing about being the daughter of the King of the Universe is that he knows all. All meaning the end from the beginning. All meaning every event has, is, and will happen. It also means that the good works that I was made for were made by his hands and his mind. 

So he looks at me in the midst of my sin or failure and says I am proud of you because I actually KNOW you. I don't even know myself as deeply and intimately as God knows me. I haven't even discovered the things that he has put inside me for his glory or the passions that he has created in my heart. And those things that my 22 year old self hasn't even touched yet and the things that he looks at and says look at that beauty. He doesn't look at me in my current state and only see the brokenness. Rather, he looks at me in the midst of all that junk and has the ability to see past it into the GLORY to GLORY that he has promised me. 

I am so lucky to have a Daddy God who does that. Man, it must really be a downer to choose anything besides him.