Made For Connection

In the church we often hear about how we are made for community and now even scientists are starting to realize that a humans main goal is not to fight for survival and reproduce but to connect with one another. Today, I had a fresh revelation of what it means to be made to connect.

We all know what it is like when you go off to college and slowly but surely your group of friends from your home town gets smaller and smaller. Its just the way life is. We move on, and only the strong relationships survive. It seems harsh, but really it's okay because it happens to everyone.

In high school, I had one group of friends that was unlike the rest. Lorin, Lauren, Timmy, and Brandon. We met at summer camp and then realized we were all from the Dallas area. Our friendship was driven even further by another summer at camp and some crazy fun times. We were almost a little Sky Ranch family of sorts.

Well, they were some of the people I lost track of. Lorin and I remained close because we attended the same university and Brandon and I exchange random text messages from time to time, but I lost track of Lauren and Timmy.

You actually might know who Lauren is. Her last name is Ledet and she is the sister/daughter of the victims of the tragic plane crash that happened in Ft. Worth this last weekend. This morning I heard the news of what happened to her family and it took all of two seconds for me to have an immediate soul connection with Lauren. It grieved me not only from a place of compassion, but also from a place of connection. It was amazing that even though I hadn't talked to Lauren in a year at least something in my heart still stirred from our shared time together and the depth of our friendship.

We were made to walk in relationship with both God and people.

Glory Story: The Lost Are Found.

For one week during the summer, T Bar M hosts a camp called Ultimate Swim Camp which is put on by Olympian Josh Davis. It is basically an elite swim camp for swimmers ages 9-16. This camp goes on at the same time as Sports Camp so they pull only a few coaches over from Sports Camp to be counselors for USC. I was one of the lucky ones chosen to work USC.

It seriously is considered a big deal if you get chosen because it is seen as such a great break from the daily grind of Sports Camp. We had a really great group and we had a lot of fun.

Because I was the oldest coach chosen for USC, they gave me the oldest girls. All my little chickies were 15 and 16 and they were wonderful! I loved them! Almost all of them had been coming to the camp since they were little and they were all good friends. All except one.

One girl (who was actually form Waco) came for the first time ever and was a little awkward. She didn't really get along with the other girls in our group and was pretty defiant when I asked things of her. She was always in front of the mirror and seemed to do anything she could to get out of doing the swimming drills. I was frustrated to say the least. 1) You are at a SWIMMING camp and you don't want to swim... what??? 2) You are 15 and should not still have these type of obedience issues. 3) WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME?! It seriously drove me up a wall.

Another thing I kept noticing was that during our devo time in the mornings she would never answer the questions. I would have to literally tell her that she needed to write an answer on the paper or she would just sit there. I had just about had it. So needless to say, when Gospel presentation rolled around I didn't expect much.

I had pretty much assumed that all of my girls were saved. I had a few rock solid ones that I figured would want to have some deeper talks during stargaze, but I still didn't expect much. That was when I saw my trouble child sitting on a swing far off from the group.

I went and sat by her and asked her if she wanted to talk about anything. She looked at me and said, "I have never heard the whole story of Jesus before. I don't know that much about him." After being a little taken by surprise and having a thousand bells and whistles go off in my head I told her the entire story with every detail I could remember. I think the details are important to help demonstrate the extravagance of God's love and the cross. It's usually the details that hook peoples hearts. And it did just that in her! She gave her life to Jesus!

The next day I asked her if she wanted to do the Bible Study just the two of us.When we sat down I told her what to turn to and to start reading. When I got back I asked her what it was about and she acted like she had no clue. She told me that she didn't understand it. Well, I picked up her Bible and come to find out her Bible was the King James Version and she literally had NO CLUE what it was talking about. I got straight up from the table and ran to the camp store to buy her a Bible. When I gave it to her and we opened to the passage we were reading in James she immediately started eating it up! I mean, the highlighter and pen were flying all over that thing!

This story might not seem like much. It was just AMAZING how much the Gospel transformed her attitude by the end of the week. She was joyful and sweet! She loved on me consistently after that. It made me think of something Carl said in Dwelling Place one time (or a thousand times) "Lost people do lost things." Once she had Jesus, everything flipped! The Gospel is POWERFUL. Now I get random texts from her telling me how she told her parents that she loves Jesus now and that her pastor has been helping her with reading and understanding her Bible and that she is getting baptized in a couple weeks! Watch out, she's gonna be a world changer.

Glory Story: Freedom in Christ

So, I did a horrible job at keeping the blog updated during my time at camp because I had such little down time! However, God did SO much and of course I want people to know the ways I saw God move. Until I believe I have exhausted my stories, we are going into a time here on the Sweetest Field called Glory Stories. They are basically gonna be quick posts with just short little stories of how God revealed himself to me this summer!

Our first story is about FREEDOM. Holy Jesus, his freedom is so sweet and such a perfect present from the father.

So, during the fifth session of camp I had a camper named Sadie. She was a character. On opening day we get profiles on each camper and in there they have any comments their parents sent us about their child. They are called Red Flags which obviously doesn't make it sound like a good thing. So, Sadie's red flag said she had severe ADHD, but took medicine so it should be fine. My co-coaches were a little overwhelmed and put off at the thought of having an ADHD girl in their small group so I volunteered to have her.

She was indeed a handful. She was extremely outspoken, outgoing, and clingy--but at the same time she was hungry for more of God and pretty wise.

During our Wednesday night Gospel presentation I sat down to talk with Sadie about what she had seen and heard that night and if God was doing anything in her heart. She told me she had never asked Jesus into her heart before. We talked about it some more and once we felt she really understood and believed the Gospel she prayed the prayer. After that she looked at me and asked about all the sin she was going to do for the rest of her life. I got to tell her that all she had to do was pray to God and ask him to come and make her heart clean and forgive her and that he would do it right then and that she could pray that any time she wanted. At that, her eyes lit up. With urgency, she looked at me and said, "Can I do it right now?!" I said yes and explained to her how to pray. She just looked up at me with a huge smile and said, "I feel so FREE! I just feel like I could run around for hours!"

When we got up to go to the cabin she was still pretty blessed out. I looked at her and said, "Sadie, you can run to the cabin if you want." As she ran, I cried watching. It was one of the single most free moments I had ever seen and it wasn't even having to do with my own freedom. That was one of the moments that makes camp worth it.

One Person Can Change Your Heart

Her name is Samantha.

She has cerebral palsy.

She was my camper during session 3 and she legitimately left camp and I was a changed person.

So, T Bar M partners with an organization called Camp Hope. Camp Hope helps kids with disabilities come to camp. Our partnership with them started the first year I was a coach and we had only 2 campers join us. Now, we have at least one Camp Hope child with us almost every single week.

Before camp started I never wanted to have a Camp Hope kid in my cabin. People with disabilities made me feel uncomfortable. I felt bad for thinking that way, but I still didn’t want to be around them. Then session 3 came and we found out that we would have Sam in our cabin.

Her information sheet said she was extremely mobile and would be able to do everything on her own besides a few specifics like cutting her food and tying back her hair. Well, that wasn’t really true. I mean, she probably could do most things, but it would take her awhile.

The week we had Sam we had mostly girls going into the 4^th grade and a few going into 5^th. Sam was a 4^th grader, but she had the body of a 6 year old. She has braces on both legs and walks with a limp. We definitely were worried about our cabin accepting her and welcoming her.

Then she started talking. Pure joy is literally what would fall out of her mouth every second. She was probably one of the funniest people I have ever met. She loves Justin Bieber (Hello, instant connection). She called us all her babies and my co, Callie, was Baby T Rex. She was such a joy to be around and what was even more amazing was that she was such a joy to serve and take care of.

When I say take care of I mean it in the most real way possible. We had to bathe her, help her with her clothes, help her tie her shoes, hold her hand every where we walked, hold her in the pool, get her food for her, cut her food, hold her up at Team Meeting because she couldn’t support her weight that long. It seems like a lot, but it was such a joy. We switched off days for who had to help her with all her stuff and I was legitimately sad the days that it wasn’t me. I loved her and therefore I loved serving her.

The way we had to care for Sam ended up giving me a great picture of Jesus. Sam was utterly dependent on us for so many things, but she was joyful and so were we in the midst of her need and our outpouring. Whether I realize it or not, I am utterly dependent on God. The thought that I can do ANYTHING with out him is almost funny. The difference, Sam thanked me after I helped her and rewarded me with sweet hugs and kind words. How often do I let the good works of God in my life go by with out even a thank you? Dang often, but he still loves to serve me and help me because he loves me. He loves me a lot.

T Bar M Session 2

So. I made it through my first week.  I had week one off so that I could go to a whole slew of weddings and my little bro's graduation. I missed camp so much while I was away. I figured that was a good sign.

I came back last Sunday to move into a cabin with two girls I didn't know at all and news that I would have 13 girls in my cabin in a few hours. Luckily, Jesus is so good. We will put all this in list form to make it easy.

First of all, I've realized that what God wants to truly reveal to me this summer is what his goodness is and how I can go about seeing it in my world daily. I love that he promises us that so many times through out the Bible. "I am still confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" Psalm 27:13. Boy, has he come through.

My two co's are so wonderful. Their names are Callie and Sarabeth. They are both so sweet and I feel so blessed to know them. Both of them just finished their freshman years. Callie goes to Texas State and Sarabeth goes to Blinn. Callie is from Brush, Colorado (Go Beat Diggers!) and is the younger sister of a girl that was on leadership when I worked in the summer of 2009. She is stinking good at basketball and probably one of the most generous and selfless people that I have met. Sarabeth is from the home of the New Braunfels High School Fighting Unicorns. (Yes, they are the ONLY unicorns in the country.) She is sweet, extremely nurturing, and going to be a dang good mom. The way she loves the girls in our cabin blows me away. We all three get along amazingly. Its like every one of us has room for our natural giftings to come forward as we lead together. They bless me so much and I am SO happy that they are my co's.

So, last week we had the youngest girls in camp. That means that they we had 13 girls going into the 2nd grade. It. Was. In. Sane. Literally insane. They were all so sweet and so loving, but required soooooo much attention. I mean, I know that sounds silly when obviously my job here at camp is to be these children's care taker/fun facilitator for a week, but it was still cray. However, I have found that I do truly miss them. My batter's box (bible study group) was full of girls who have a real genuine love for God and honestly desire to know him better. Whether they realize it or not. I had one camper give her life to Jesus. After our gospel presentation she just looked at me and said, "Its just horrible. I can't believe they did that to him." She is in the 2nd grade. She can't even tie her own shoes and she was able to comprehend the pain and anguish of Jesus' death. When I told her that it was for her and because Jesus loves her, her face lit up. She was changed by the realization that Jesus would do that for her. Even the thought that he would do that for anyone. The reality of love changes things. The power of love changes things.

This year at camp we are studying love and what love does. I am also reading Love Does by Bob Goff. I am so excited for God to continue revealing himself to me and showing me exactly how powerful and changing his love is. His love is literally the MOST powerful thing in this world and it is the only thing that will change it.

Wow. God is good. All the time.
All the time. God is good.

He is Proud of Me.

[from Pinterest.]

I apparently have a hard time understanding what God really thinks of me. I never knew it was an issue. I always thought I was one of those secure people. Sure, I have those days that I feel fat or whatever, but I have never questioned God's love for me or his goodness. Secure and confident are words that I hear often during times of encouragement. 

Well, I guess that both my friends and I didn't realize that I have a dang hard time knowing that God is proud of me.

Today, some of my best friend's came back from India. As I was driving to the airport to welcome them home I started singing some worship which turned into me kind of sing-praying to God which then took a turn for the weird when I started basically prophetically singing what God was speaking over myself. Have you ever done that? Like spoke out loud for God? Where your words are like being hijacked right from your brain? No, this is not like tongues. Its like when you write down the things that God is saying in your journal, only you are just saying them out loud as they come and your basically weeping the whole time. Well, that is what happened to me. It was crazy. It was intense. It was the best moment I have had with Jesus in a while and I welcomed it with open arms.

So, he said a lot of stuff which was all wonderful, but it came down to two main things: He is proud of me and he dearly loves me.

When I mess up or feel less than mediocre I tend to get in this funk of a mindset that there is no way that I am worth anything. I just feel like such a stinking failure. I watched a segment on the Today show this morning about getting a job and all I could think was that no one would ever want to hire me. 

The wonderful thing about being the daughter of the King of the Universe is that he knows all. All meaning the end from the beginning. All meaning every event has, is, and will happen. It also means that the good works that I was made for were made by his hands and his mind. 

So he looks at me in the midst of my sin or failure and says I am proud of you because I actually KNOW you. I don't even know myself as deeply and intimately as God knows me. I haven't even discovered the things that he has put inside me for his glory or the passions that he has created in my heart. And those things that my 22 year old self hasn't even touched yet and the things that he looks at and says look at that beauty. He doesn't look at me in my current state and only see the brokenness. Rather, he looks at me in the midst of all that junk and has the ability to see past it into the GLORY to GLORY that he has promised me. 

I am so lucky to have a Daddy God who does that. Man, it must really be a downer to choose anything besides him.

The Meaning Behind The Name

The Sweetest Field.

Sounds kinda funny right?

Like some insider thing that you aren't being let in on?

Well, today is the day that I am going to enlighten you as to the meaning of the name of this blog and my original intent in creating it. 

In the summer of 2001 I stepped through the opening gate of T Bar M Sports Camp and that week I fell in love. This place has been one of my favorite places ever for the last 11 years. I was a camper from 2001-2004, on high school work crew in 2007 and then FINALLY a counselor (we call them coaches) in 2009. My years at camp are some of my favorite memories. They mark times where I've seen lots of growth in my life spiritually. The last two summers I have wanted desperately to go back to camp, but felt God pulling me in other directions. In the summer of 2010, I felt like Jesus wanted me to go Brazil on a mission trip with my church and again in 2011 I felt that pull to missions and went to Uganda for a month. Both of those trips were so special and so great. I delighted in obeying God and knowing that I was not only haphazardly walking into this plan, but also choosing it. There was still a place in my heart that wanted to be back at T Bar M though. 

At the end of last summer, I went to visit my camp bestie, LeAnne, at camp. She was on leadership and I was soooo jealous. She got to spend her entire summer there! Well, during my quiet time one morning in the outback I just really felt God saying that if I wanted to I could go back for summer 2012. Well, that seemed a little ridiculous considering I would be graduating that May and had no idea what I was going to do for income and figured my parents would pull the plug right about then. 

The longer I prayed about it the more God revealed to me that way this relationship thing works. He just kept telling me that his desires had become mine and that many of mine had become his. That me wanting to be at camp meant he wanted me to go there. I also felt that he was saying that in the places that I had been obedient the last two summers and surrendered my own desires he wanted to reward me. It was a moment in which God wanted to say, "Well done. Here is what I think of what you have done." and then present a gift. I don't know about you, but my understanding of a gift is that it is meant to be enjoyed. Once I really landed on reapplying for camp, I just knew that this was a sweet gift from the Lord. That camp was like the treasure in the parable of the treasure in the field. In God's pursuit of my heart he had found this sweet treasure that he knew brought me joy and brought me close to him. He decided to hide it in the field in a place that only he would know. He knew though. He knew how to find it and when it was meant to be found again. So to me, being at camp is this sweet gift from my Daddy God.

Another thing I that I have continually felt God saying since I decided to come back to camp that it was just going to be an open heaven. That the field was ready for the harvest and that the fruit would blow me away. He wants to show me his goodness by letting me SEE the good work of his spirit this summer and then letting me partner with him in it. Its so happy and exciting!!!! I am so expectant.

The sweetest field. A gift, a promise, a mandate, and an invitation all wrapped up into one. It's gonna be one rocking' summer! There is already so much glory all over this!!!!